Office mate

I admit that I have quirks. Yes, I do. If you know me, then you know that I hate cotton balls or cotton pads. They are just so creepy feeling. Stop laughing! Q-Tips are just as creepy. Seriously, stop laughing, I am pouring out my heart! Another thing that will send me running is a wasp or bee, or any other family member relating to them. Don't like them. I am pretty sure they have me targeting, so I know the feeling is mutual. Other than bees, I don't feel I am too "girlie". I don't like to squish bugs, so various insects found in the house are usually safely released in the wild if possible, unless my hubby sees them first. Spiders and beetles get placed in the front yard. I even found a house centipede (the little guy to the top-right) that I set free. I definitely draw the line at roaches though. I can't stand them! Well, I was walking out of my office today and stepped right over a giant one coming out from under my desk! Who knows how long he was climbing the mountains of my shoes or sliding down my pants leg?!?!? Ewwwwwww! Before I set the gal across the hall on him, I did make sure he wasn't tagged nor was he wearing a badge. Definitely not from an experiment or an employee, though he was big enough for an experiment! So, maintenance has been notified that I am not willing to share my office. After the incident, I learned another girl had found one last week in my office (which seconds as the copy room). No, I don't store open food in my office. As of today, I no longer store closed food either. All sodas will be bottles that can close!I will tell you that my choice of beef stroganoff with button mushroom slices was the wrong choice for lunch. All those mushrooms looked like friends of my office mate after awhile. Now I am completely and sufficiently freaked out.

How to make a 15-hour car ride worse...

Now, I realize I am blogging backwards. I should start with the beginning of my vacation. However, I know there are several followers of this blog that would delight in hearing my tale of woe. Monique, you may want to turn back now!

So, if driving for fifteen hours in a car with a hubby and three kids isn't bad enough, the animals have to get in on the fun. We were about four or five hours in to our trip from Jacksonville to Virginia. We stopped at some armpit of Georgia or it may have been South Carolina. The rest of the crew head in to a gas station to answer nature's call. I sat in the car listing to yet another round of "Everybody's Got a Water Buffalo" from the 3-year-old's Veggie Tales DVD. The pack comes out of the gas station and I decide I need some Advil from the bag located in the very back of the van. I climb out, fries and chip pieces falling to the ground in the process. I go to the back, open the hatch, rifle through assorted crap until I find my much-needed bottle. I take two out and head back to my seat. The oldest daughter is leaning in the passenger-side door, so I wait to get in. I feel something slam into the left side of my head. I notice a very large cricket thing on the inside of my door and pray that what hit my head was only a cow-devouring locust. No such luck. My dear daughter confirms that the bogey was indeed a large pellet of bird poo.

Now, in my 38 years I have never been pelted by the stuff, so I do count myself rather fortunate. Also, I consider it as taking a bullet for the teenager. If I had not been standing in that spot, it would have hit her square in the back. So, there I am with the grossest slimy stuff (There's Something About Mary had NOTHING on me today) dripping out of my hair. The hubby grabs some baby wipes and proceeds to pull "the chunks" out as best he can. I am so very thankful I can not see exactly what he pulled out, let me tell you. After the major stuff is removed, I go into the gas station rest room and use the ONE DROP of hand soap left in the dispenser and wash the section of hair.

The bathroom there was almost worse than the bird poo. I make the hubby drive a few miles to a cleaner gas station. I get the travel shampoo out of the overnight bag and proceed to wash the left side of my head in the faucet of the sink. I blew it partially dry under the hand dryer. I was only laughed at once.

Of course the minute I got home (at midnight), I took a proper shower and washed my hair twice. Yeah, being pooed on by a bird definitely makes a fifteen-hour drive way worse.